I have to be getting back to work. But what to write...Anna, my cousein is coming to Maracaibo tonight. I am looking forward to it and at the same time I am a bit nervous cause I´m afraid she is going to get bored. I mean,
I have to work, and obviously I can´t send her wandering off by herself - out of the question.
I think my cultural adaptation curve is pretty fucked up. At the end of your year abroad you are supposed to feel integrated and like "now my life is here" and "I don´t want to go back". But insead I feel that I am badly integrated and even though I know it will be hard as hell to leave this place (because of the people I´ve met) I don´t feel like I could stay here forever. As I think I´ve said a couple of times before.
I am just so tired of playing the part of a foreigner. People will never stop correcting my Spanish and again and again they start "here in Veenzuela" this and "here in Venzuela" that, as if it would be my first week in Venezuela. All the time I have to listen to comments about my whiteness and I still haven´t learned to move my ass properly. I think part of the problem is that I am happy when peple can understand me and I love dancing. But the people around me want me to speak "correctly" and to move my ass "correctly". Bloody hell, I´ve got less than two months here n Venezuela, let me just reax and enjoy, will you! - I feel like saying.
And I also feel like the pople don´t know me. Of course I can´t blame them, cause they only got to know me now. And naturally they make generalisations and assumptions. Some think I am an angel - what a joke - and others that I never wear make up, that I never get angry, never loose my temper etc. It´s like they don´t think I am human at all.
I think my problem is that I am just a little tired.
I have to work, and obviously I can´t send her wandering off by herself - out of the question.
I think my cultural adaptation curve is pretty fucked up. At the end of your year abroad you are supposed to feel integrated and like "now my life is here" and "I don´t want to go back". But insead I feel that I am badly integrated and even though I know it will be hard as hell to leave this place (because of the people I´ve met) I don´t feel like I could stay here forever. As I think I´ve said a couple of times before.
I am just so tired of playing the part of a foreigner. People will never stop correcting my Spanish and again and again they start "here in Veenzuela" this and "here in Venzuela" that, as if it would be my first week in Venezuela. All the time I have to listen to comments about my whiteness and I still haven´t learned to move my ass properly. I think part of the problem is that I am happy when peple can understand me and I love dancing. But the people around me want me to speak "correctly" and to move my ass "correctly". Bloody hell, I´ve got less than two months here n Venezuela, let me just reax and enjoy, will you! - I feel like saying.
And I also feel like the pople don´t know me. Of course I can´t blame them, cause they only got to know me now. And naturally they make generalisations and assumptions. Some think I am an angel - what a joke - and others that I never wear make up, that I never get angry, never loose my temper etc. It´s like they don´t think I am human at all.
I think my problem is that I am just a little tired.
posted by Larubia at 10:51 AM
2 Comments:
Yeah- that's kinda what happens in the third world countries in Latin America. When I was on AFS it was different- I had my family and joined a counter culture group of misfits where I was just one of the crazy ones- but when I went back to CR, I realised that no matter what I did, I'd be the gringa for my entire life (and the stereotypes that went along with it) and I was ready to go home. Especially when I saw how one of my coordinators who had lived there for 30 years with her husband, a native, was treated.
Scary news is coming out of Venezula- are you going to be able to come back alright?
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